When the Bullying is Cyber…what?

The definition of anonymity is to not state your identity, anonymous. The meaning of pseudonymity is real fake to be fictitious. Let’s just make it all up your username and identity to act in a negative way. Cyberbullying at it BEST!!!

When the world went mad and forgot about the human it was attacking.

Monica Lewinsky Ted Talk – The Price of Shame (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_8y0WLm78U)

Reflecting on the word shame, which means to have a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by foolish behavior or wronged from self-action or put on you by other’s actions. Shame can be deadly. Shame can cause so much trauma in a person’s life that it takes the form of regret and thoughts of suicide. Guilt also has an impact on how deep shame can become. I remember when the news of a young woman that was caught participating in inappropriate behaviors with the President. I felt terrible that she was involved, but how the world shamed her for being one of two participants. The way information was shared was slow in comparison to now. I also was living my best life as a freshman in college. I was so confused about how she was being blamed and how judgemental the world seemed to be. Thinking about the time then and how we have evolved in a tech world. The Clinton-Lewinsky scandal would have been a billion times worst. The way the internet was still considered a toddler and the sharing of information was running rampant without regard to laws we have now, which are always in need of repair. The person she was now would have been more harmful to herself. The fact that this scandal was the birth of the term cyberbullying. Social media was not so social back then, Ms. Lewinsky was dragged, and I feel he was protected from more shame than she ever was.

Clinton could have done more to save her image since she was a very young woman. The way some troll and hide behind fact profiles and have created major profitable platforms now would have been a horrible thing to watch back then. Television reports, news, and graphic magazine shows like Dateline and 20/20 became less informative and hurtful. Twitter, Facebook, and Instragme would have not only destroyed her, but Ms. Lewinsky would have never survived. Watching TED TALK was emotional and yet full of valuable lessons. She reflected on a case that happened. The young man could not pull himself to see that, yes, humiliation is hard, but you can recover. She also spoke to my heart when she made the audience think because they knew the story and most likely had negative feelings about her first and then the President. She said young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle it are so abused and humiliated that they can’t imagine living to the next day. I believe her statement should be used when cyberbullying is being done and has caused a negative outcome to the victim and the families. This whole scandal was too much then, and it still is hurtful now.

Reflections on how and why we didn’t protect the babies…

CYBERBULLYING!!!

Charlotte’s Web of What We Call Cyberbullying.

The tangled web we weave. The internet can be viewed as the web, and the users of said technology can be considered the spider. When the educators take on the parent’s role and responsibilities have to help guide the spider, it gets tricky and sometimes scary. From the reading and life experiences in the classroom, this could be considered madness. How can we cultivate empathy? The book Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard can be regarded as a bible, Quran, or Torah for educators and parents that want to protect and serve their young scholars and help build a defense for online usage. Now that I have your attention, cyberbullying is, in my opinion, just nasty like a pig pen of uncontrolled waste and deflection of ones on the mess or hurt and then assigned to someone as their feeling, emotion, or self-definitions.

Cyberbullying has been defined by so many, and all the definitions I concluded are defined as meanness. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the Department of Education, and the Health Resources and Service Administration worked to define cyberbullying as:

Bullying is any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths who are not siblings or current dating partners that involve an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth, including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm.. (Hinduja & Patchin 2015)

I agree with this definition, but it really can’t stand up to what cyberbullying feels to the victims. I have an understanding that from the reading and videos that the description should be when the intentional and with the force and the purpose to hurt cannot be considered an accident but intention to seek attention to cause some pain on the victim. I believe it is premediated. Take a moment and think about an accident, then think about how you wanted to do something and actually created a plan to reach the said goal. That, to me, is what cyberbullying looks like. An intent to hurt! No moral compass is in the project. No one in their right mind desires or deserves to be mistreated. A bully is like a skunk; it looks one way but can bring the worst type of uncomfortableness. The idea to sit and decide to be a cyberbully has a few attributes: a false sense of power and a really violent human.

This new age of bullying was birthed by the traditional bully. Cyberbullying is the chid of the schoolyard bully. Except with new power and a new false sense of worth. I believe it is linked to the self-esteem deficit of the bully. I also have an understanding that hurt people hurt people. When we forget to cultivate empathy and then expect the world, the internet, the schools to teach our children kindness is where the problems begin to spin out of control. We no longer can sit and avoid this debate or critical conversation. Lessons need to be implanted in our curriculum in every core and an elective subject. Definitions of rude, mean, and bullying need to be revamped for this tech world that we are in.

Cyberbullying is doing something willful and then repeated to harm and afflict pain via a computer, smartphone, or any device that connects the user to the internet. So, let us dive into our teens and how they move online today. What I do know is they are some of the smartest individuals today. Teens can create meaningful things and then still have a sense of some naiveness. They are savvy on how they can spin their agenda to always be innocent yet purposeful in their deeds to hurt. Technology is vital for education, business, connection, information, and entertainment, but it has so many darks sides. It should not be moved to the first way to interact. Technology has become more social than actually being in the moment. We now use social media to ask someone to call us instead of dialing or driving to that person we are looking to connect with. We have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat in place of hello or a card. We share and overshare. WE have forgotten to leave something to imagine or wonder about. Our teens today have to know understanding what it feels like to run to the mailbox for that card or letter. They now have more than one social media account for everyone to be in and then seek false approval. I feel this negative behavior has to be tamed, and more in a position to educate should help the youth and adults carry specific actions online.

Was it to late or on time to save someone else?

Case Study One Ryan Halligan’s Story: http://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org/

In the matter of Ryan Halligan, and the amount of loss his family endured was profound. His father created an entire lesson. What we call in the field of education is project-based learning. His father was hurt and took action to prevent a misconception of why someone takes their own life. Mental health is part of why most youth and adults end their life. The lies we tell can also spin in directions that young minds could never really conceive. Mr. Halligan really created a lesson on empathy. He spoke to the audience with his son’s pictures, looping visually in the background to show any predator in the room that Ryan was a human with feelings. He was not promoting victimizing but making the villain aware that it is something they are. A cyberbully. Can we find, in this case, a new way of educating our youth? Of course.  When the nature and the forms of cyberbullying are at the front and not hidden of his presentation. Having real conversations with impressable minds is essential. The mistreatment online is realistic. Negative behaviors have been normalized on social media. You can join groups to be mean and have complete security because you now have pseudonymity but, we know it started with having anonymity. Profiles do not negate your IP address, which I believe we have this new tracking system, algorithms, and cookies.

Students and educators have a safe place to express concerns with Mr. Halligan’s meetings. I belives that this case is a good thing. I would love to see more support groups that can make it a painful experience and a teaching moment. Before laws, we still went on empathy, compassion, and old right is right and wrong should be punished. The rules need to be a subject of a case by case. When we hold those accountable for what they do, we can create a wave of empathy.  We can begin to reduce the suicide rate and willingly help more ask for HELP! Since we understand digital footprint, we know you can not hide behind an alias. If you can create pain, you should think about the consequences of that action.

This happened to help with awareness.

Case Two

When you have a plethora of statistics, something has to move in the lawmakers and voters. Parents, churches, community, and public figures should by right step up and help. I never want to charge anyone with a responsibility that can not be handle with respect. Celebrities are not always teachers, but they do have a respected platform because of the internet. In this case, we have a protect and serve those that catch pure hell. When campaigns are created and support, we have a problem. When we speak of the young, my child, if I can help, it will never in his young life be a slogan or a hashtag that calls for him to be killed and then celebrated by his peers. Kylie was bullied in the worst way. Even after help was provided, it still was not a force fill to protect.

This case causes pain to deal with. I am sure those with authority struggle every day. How do we punish when the punisher was hurt, as well. To feel trapped is hard to breathe. Educators and those that make laws should study and research every moment because that’s how fast the internet moves. What do we really know about Cyberbullying? From research is founded tobe girls suffer more, the mean girl syndrome. Traditionally, females suffer more and actually hurt themselves at a higher rate than males. From the book Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard, research has shown that girls suffer more from verbal attacks and less physical bullying. I would like to call it catty flair versus muscle capacity. Females are more arguably less confrontational and more committed to hiding behind a screen and keyboard. We can say girls play safe, less dirty, or physically. Our males have to prove through power: muscles and fist. Words are limited, but the force is real and equals control. Men have had this need to be aggressive, and therefore they bully differently. Which results in a power struggle and, ultimately, suicide. Which can be defined as the end.

This case was before cyberbullying actually knew how to be defined and tracked. The Laws have not caught up and still run behind them. We now have search engines that can help parents, educators, therapists, and those that care track teen’s search engines. We can now mirror our child’s activities without their knowledge. I do daily. I have a spirit of empathy, and even before I allow any child to hurt, and I do not ask questions, the world could end for both of us. We have to commit to creating government laws to help and protect children and punish them with real results. Consulting companies need to think about how a change can happen with Digital Citizenship programs. Emotional and behavioral consequences will have effects if they are implemented correctly. Cyberbullying is a fast-moving machine. What we know now is still not enough.

When a child complains about being cyberbullied, believe them and help them…shut it down! They are children, and children desire to be leaders in the right in what the world has defined as right directions.

http://www.ryanpatrickhalligan.org/

Kylie Kenney’s Story: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/645194065/Schoolyard-bullying-has-gone-high-tech.html

Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. (, 2015). Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard. Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin, 2nd ed.

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